also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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