It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
