So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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