You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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