how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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