My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
