no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
