when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
