I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
