im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
