Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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