THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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