i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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