How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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