now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
