whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it was like eating out sand paper
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
