Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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