Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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