Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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