i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
