Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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