Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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