Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
