ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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