i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
