Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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