I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
