it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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