Will you blow on my dice?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
