I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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