I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
