I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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