margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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