Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
