Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
