How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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