So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
