Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
