he thought i was a dude.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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