Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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