She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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