i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
