That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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