It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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