thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
