I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
