So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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