What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
