He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
