Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
