I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
