So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I want a musical about memes.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
