Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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