Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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