butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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