the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
