she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
