Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
