This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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