did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
