go do what you do best...puke behind churches
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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