How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
