I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
